An Open Letter to Douche Bags

Arron "Bad Man" Barringer

Dear D Bag,

I thought about writing an essay for you about the need for a higher standard of ethics and sportsmanship if Mixed Martial Arts was ever to be taken seriously as the renaissance sport that it is. I realized that would be like peeing on a campfire. Warm and relieving but otherwise useless. Therefore, I decided to write YOU directly. Don’t worry; I’ll use small words so that you’re certain to understand.

We all saw you. It doesn’t matter if you’re White, Black, Hispanic or any other color; your kind always has the same attitude. Maybe you weren’t always a bully, but you are now. You especially like to instigate when you are safe from the consequences. Kind of like the schoolyard where you can push the kids around but hide behind the teacher when the tables turn. See, you’ll give an ass whooping, but you won’t TAKE one. Sure, maybe you’ve won a fight or two but you seem to have mistaken being more proficient than others at something (i.e. fighting) as meaning you are better than others at everything. It seems that mom failed to teach you humility. You confuse arrogance with self-confidence, which only means you are insecure. You confuse aggression with intensity. No one ever treated you with respect, so I suppose it’s no surprise that you treat everyone around you like trash.

Your technique sucks. You have to be angry in order to fight. You need that drama, you need to create that conflict because you are too scared to face an opponent without anger. You hurl insults and profanities in an effort to dehumanize your opponent. This makes it easier for you to “work yourself up”. In training you probably like to go “all out” all the time, which is why so many of your friends are hurt. It’s also why you will never work with anyone who is actually better than you. (Please see above, reference TAKING a beating)

You say you’re putting on a show for the fans, but you always take it too far. Especially since your fans are the three homophobes who scream drunken obscenities whenever fighters use their guard. Inbred beer guts, slobbery faces and watery eyes; that’s your constituency. Thing is, you are not entertaining. You are a spectacle. A caricature of a real athlete. A fraud. A charlatan. Your attitude is exactly what happened to boxing. Look, I’m all for entertainment. Talk some mess, create some interest but then get out there and be a MAN.

A F-I-G-H-T-E-R.

Oh, I’m sure there are a lot of excuses for your behavior. Call it what you will, I could care less. My mother taught me about Integrity, and the Marine Corps taught me about Honor. There are a few other things I learned along the way. Treat others with kindness. Hold the door open for strangers. Look people in the eye. Be respectful in victory and dignified in defeat. Fight with intrepidity. This is the character of a Warrior.

I’ve seen tough, Boy… and you ain’t it.

Arron “Bad Man” Barringer

“If this letter entertained you, then congratulations, you are not the addressee.”

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